Status Quo

Sorry for the lapse in posting, as I know there are many out there concerned for us, our surrogate, and our little one.  Thank you to all who have emailed asking if everything was OK.  I have been feeling somewhat ambivalent about blogging, and thus the lack of posts.  Besides the fact that I don't have much to report, I feel like our bad luck is lingering over us, which has thrown a wet blanket on our excitement about the pregnancy and all these early developmental milestones we would otherwise be celebrating, sharing, and blogging about.

Meanwhile, Meera, our surrogate, is still in the hospital due to bleeding from the previously disclosed SCH.  It has now been almost an entire month since she was admitted.  It must be terribly difficult for her to be on complete bed rest, away from her family and personal comforts.  Hopefully her husband and four year old son get to visit her often and are making do without her best they can.  We feel bad that she was also in the hospital over Mother's Day, but we mailed her a card and were informed by SCI that they received it in time and translated it for her.  They relayed that she appreciated it and sent us her best wishes just the same.  We've been told that she seems to be staying in good spirits, considering, and we are grateful for that and for her sacrifice.

Unfortunately, according to our last USG report over a week ago, the bleed has grown to 6.9 x 4.3 cm, which has kept Meera in the hospital on strict bed rest.  However, the baby appears to be developing fine.  Possibly more than fine, as the report noted that the baby's approximate gestational age was calculated to be several weeks ahead of schedule at 13W6D at the time of the scan.  By that measure, we would be in the second trimester already!  However, Dr. Shivani said the scans were not totally accurate and could be off +/- 2 weeks, which makes sense based on our transfer date, we would only be around 12 weeks tomorrow.

We continue to receive daily updates from SCI.  "Update" seems to be a bit of a misnomer, as there really hasn't been much change.  To be honest, the emails have started to run together as they sound so much alike, and I commend Yogita for being able to provide us Meera's status without simply copying and pasting yesterday's email verbatim.  There is always her pleasant greeting, and then acknowledgement that Meera is still in the hospital and that the doctors have noted varying amounts of bleeding ("mild" to "minimal" to "some" to "on and off" etc.).  She notes that Meera is receiving supplements and medication, being observed/reviewed/monitored, and being cared for well by the staff of coordinators, social workers, nurses, and/or doctors.  Basically:

We are getting accustomed to the emails and I am sometimes dismayed that I have become a bit casual about them.  At first, I used to open them with a mixture of anticipation and dread, bracing myself for the news, good or bad.  Now we have come to know what to expect: wake up, check the phone for the email, then forward to family, and roll out of bed to get ready for work.  Of course we still worry, but a certain routine has developed and we have since given up trying to decipher from the description of the amount of bleeding if Meera is getting better. 

We just hope and pray that she does.

Update

Our poor surrogate is still in the hospital on complete bed rest due to bleeding.  It has now been over a week, and based on the daily updates we have been receiving from SCI, I expect she may be there for awhile.  For the first few days we were informed that the bleeding continued, but was mild and decreasing.  On Friday we received word that during a bedside scan the doctor detected a "3.7 x 1.9 cm area of s/c bleed seen along anterior wall of lower uterine segment." Freak out time again, and immediate search of the internet to understand what this was and what it meant!

The s/c bleed or SubChorionic Hematoma (SCH) is a pooling of blood in one of the layers around the baby and the uterus.  Not sure why it forms, but risk of miscarriage is increased.  Eventually the blood should either be absorbed back into the body or expelled through bleeding.  There is really no medical intervention for the SCH.  Meera is being kept comfortable and given iron infusions due to the blood loss.  They are running medical tests periodically to ensure everything else with her health and the baby's health are sustained.

Dr. Shivani provided the following additional information:

• The bleed is behind the placenta, but the location doesn't matter much at this stage.
• Meera has some mild lower abdominal pain but is otherwise OK.
• The baby's size, gestational age and heart rate are appropriate for the period of pregnancy.
• Unfortunately, the only thing to do is wait and see. 

This morning, we received an update that the SCH had grown to 6.7 x 3.9 cm.  While this was alarming to me, Travis and many others have continued to remind me that there really is nothing that we can do.

We appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers for our surrogate and little one.  We also are grateful to all the people who reached out to us with their personal stories, which were very moving and hopeful.  Finally, we want to thank all those who provided us advice and tapped into their medical resources to give us more information on this issue.  One of the scariest parts of this process is the uncertainty and unknown.  Arming myself with information is one of the ways I try to combat this, but the past week has really driven home how harmful and scary random information on the internet (Dr. Google) can be, and conversely how powerful and far-reaching our support network is.  So thank you to our "family," both online and off. 

For now, we continue to wait and hope.