Tuesday, April 30, 2013


We went to see my family this weekend for my mom's birthday party and to surprise them with the news that we were pregnant.  And a surprise it was!  I stealthily placed an anonymous "You're going to be a grandmother again!" card amongst the birthday gifts, and inside the card were just the ultrasound pictures.  When my mom opened the card and found the ultrasounds, all eyes turned to my sister, who was flabbergasted.  Since there are already five grandsons, the whole family was expecting, nay practically pressuring, her to try again for a little granddaughter.  So no one believed her denials that she wasn't pregnant!  She had to point out that she was drinking and wouldn't do that if she was pregnant!  Then the focus turned to my sister-in-law who succinctly replied "I'm not pregnant!"  She and my brother already have three boys and have claimed that they were done having kids.  So everyone turned back to my sister, not understanding why she was protesting so much.  Confused, they eventually asked if Travis and I were having a baby, and the reaction and surprise on their faces was priceless!  The excitement and happiness they expressed for us made it one of the best days in our lives, truly unforgettable.

That brings me to the title of this post.  For those who aren't familiar with the term, "jinx" according to Wikipedia refers to bad luck brought on by:
  • Talking about a future event with too much confidence. A statement such as "We're sure to win the contest!" can be seen as a jinx because it tempts fate, thereby bringing bad luck. The event itself is referred to as "jinxed". A dramatic historical example of this type of jinxing is the Titanic, which was said to be unsinkable, then sank on its maiden voyage.
  • In a similar way, calling attention to good fortune – e.g. noting that a certain athlete is having a streak of particularly good fortune – is thought to "jinx" it. If the good fortune ends immediately afterward, the jinx is then blamed for the turn of events.

So the very next day, Monday, we received one of those dreaded "unexpected emails from SCI" that I wrote about in my last post:

We hope you are doing well.

We would like to inform you that your surrogate mother Meera was admitted in the hospital yesterday due to bleeding.

In regards to the same our obstetrician team has reviewed & put her under necessary care and medications.

We have also sent her blood and urine investigation to the lab.

She is on complete bed rest & we are keeping very close eyes on her pregnancy.

We are taking very good care of her and our obstetrician has been checking her on regular intervals.

As soon as we receive any new updates, we will inform you ASAP.

We will keep you updated with her further progress & new status.

With Best Regards,
SCI Healthcare

We are obviously worried out of our minds, since we are so far away and feel helpless in this situation.  We frantically Googled "bleeding" and "pregnancy" and "9 weeks" to find out everything we could, just to conclude that it was inconclusive--sometimes it results in miscarriage and sometimes it doesn't.  We sent SCI an email with some follow up questions, relaying our concern that Meera wasn't in any pain or discomfort, and hoping that her son and husband were ok and not worrying as much as we were.

We also sent Meg and Margarida an email with some questions, SCI's historical outcomes with this, and what to expect.  We want to thank BrooklynCouple as we knew they recently went through this (their surrogate is fine now and they just recently passed the first trimester!); they were amazing with the details and helped to comfort and calm us a bit after I emailed them freaking out (I seem to be doing this a lot these days).

We would be interested to know anyone else's experience with bleeding in the third month of pregnancy.  You can leave a comment, point us to another blog, or email us (address in our blogger profile). 

I can't help but feel a bit like we jinxed ourselves, and I wish we had waited to tell our families.  They were so happy for us, but now we may have to deliver some heart-breaking news.  We have decided to wait a few days before telling them that Meera is in the hospital, hoping that everything improves quickly.  I guess I kind of half-expected that after all that we went through to finally get pregnant, that we were owed a trouble-free pregnancy.  But I know that's not how it works.  We just have to wait, hope, pray, and stay calm and positive.


  1. I know you guys may feel especially powerless given this is all happening halfway around the world, but please remember that there is probably little more you could do if your surrogate was your next door neighbor. It seems that she is being cared for very well, and they are keeping you up to date on the situation as it develops. That's all we as IP's can ever ask for. Sending you guys my best wishes that things will work out okay...

  2. So sorry to hear you are going through this time of stress & uncertainty. Sending positive thoughts and wishes to you both as well as your SM and little one. I'm sure that telling your family has influenced your journey only in a good way as now you have more support and love throughout. Xx

  3. Oh so sorry to hear this. Even if you guys are in India, there is nothing much you can do but hope for the best outcome. Everyone is helpless with bleeding during a pregnancy. However, it is not rare that some preggos have bleeding or spottings during the first trimester, so try to calm down and hope for the best. Sending you guys and your LO a lot of positive vibes!

  4. These weeks in the beginning are so hard and pass so slow. Keep the faith. Thinking of you guys...fingers crossed all turns out well.

  5. Ugh! So sorry to hear. As a superstitious person, I feel your pain. But it looks like early bleeding is quite normal, so fingers crossed! You guys have been at this for so long-- it's your turn! Best wishes for a happy ending.

  6. Oh dear!! I can only share with you my personal experiance. Each time I was pregnant I miscarried between 6-11 weeks. Each time it started with spotting and I was told just to rest. The positive to your case right now is that your beautiful surrogate is being looked after by doctors in a hospital. I never got that. Unfortunatly even if you were here in India the only thing you could do is pray. There are many cases what you can call a last bit of shedding ( old blood) that a woman my go through. I'm here in India at the moment and will be at the sci hospital tomorrow. If there is anything I can do for you please let me know. I'll be praying all is well.

  7. so sorry to hear this.

    praying that things turn out alright.

    graham and Alex x

  8. Hi Ben, sorry to hear... sending you positive energy!

  9. We will be keeping our fingers crossed.
    All our best wishes.
    Javier and Antonio

  10. Hang in there! I know exactly what you mean. For both my kids, I didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy almost at the third trimester. I then decided to break that habit and tell people about my pregnancy in India very early and lost the baby :( HOWEVER, after saying that, I know MANY others who have done the same but they are now parents! Plus there are MANY others who didn't say anything and lost their baby. Same goes with bleeding - it can go either way. Do your best to not think you jinxed it. Focus on staying calm (easier said than done) and not on feeling that you did anything wrong. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

  11. To give you hope, I bled throughout both of my finally successful pregnancies. Starting at around 9 weeks, and very heavily with one at 12 weeks. The thing about sharing this with people is the amazing amount of support and positive energy you will receive, I learned that throughout my own infertility history, and through the surrogacy experience with my sister. I am sending out positive thoughts to your surrogate tonight.